Gallery Girls episode 2

Episode 2 of Gallery Girls aired last night and no one got stupid drunk, such a shame. Instead we see the very boring day to day lives of the 7 ladies on the show, which seems to loosely revolve around the art world.

Claudia at End of the World

At End of Century it seems a routine has already been established. After the opening night party Claudia is magic erasing wine stains off the walls (why didn’t Bravo show us that action! WTF Andy Cohen, wine slinging hipsters sounds like awesome reality TV to me). Chantal saunters into the store hours late but she did have a delicious FRENCH PRESS coffee, not to be confused with filter coffee. Claudia and Chantal discuss who is going to run the store and can’t figure it out. Spencer (Chantal’s Williamsburg boyfriend) finds a half eaten cupcake in the back room then Chantal and Spencer saunter off. I am assuming this is going to be business as usual. Later in the episode some ‘big deal somethingorother people come into the gallery-highbred-boutique-lifestyle-store. Claudia tries desperately to show her wares/paintings. There’s a lot of gesticulation and discussion of the ‘surface of the painting’ (this is all just an opportunity for us to know that the paintings are around $6,000 -$ 7,000. Claudia will have a tough time selling those…) and a lot of politely disguised disinterest. It’s all horribly awkward. The important french? people start playing with the silly overpriced clothing. I believe a $400 skinned umbrella hat is donned. The frenchies scuttle out of the store having successfully not made a single purchase. Like I said, a routine has been established.

galleries like a slick look for the front desk…

Maggie is getting ready for her ‘first day’ back on the job internship at Eli Klein’s gallery. I had a real sad face moment for Maggie, living in Murray Hill making Kuerig coffee for herself. Nothing like the fine sophisticated fair trade french press coffee Chantal often enjoys. Maggie gets to work and is apparently horrified that Liz gets to sit at the front desk so early in her internship! I will say it now that Maggie needs to MAN UP. Of course Liz is sitting at the front desk. She looks professional and presentable versus little meek as a mouse Maggie with her frizzy bun and complete inability to take her eyes off the floor. Could you imagine her greeting customers? No, exactly. MAGGIE this is to you; put some pizzazz in your step, hold your head up and E N U N C I A T E when you speak and you will go far (well you may at least move out of the internship realm). Until then you will have to be content folding Eli’s dog shit bags and refreshing the gallery’s outdoor waterbowl. Oh, and she has to go to the dreaded Brooklyn to pick something up for Eli. She likens the experience to being in a ‘zombie apocalypse.’ But Eli takes her out for drinks (Liz ran as fast as she could in the opposite direction. Smart girl. Oh and she has a chihuahua!) and tries to get her drunk. She confesses that her boyfriend isn’t very sophisticated. She’s trouble, TROUBLE.

Kerri the chauffeured courier

Kerri meets with her rich person concierge business boss (I still don’t know what to call what she does). They discuss her juggling her job and her very real and authentic internship with Sharon Hurowitz. Miami Basel is brought up. Drunk girls in Miami, I can’t wait! Kerri is told that she has to ‘quarterback the whole thing.’ Yeah right. Anyway we also get to see how awfully strenuous Kerri’s job is. She has to pick up bagels, hop in a  private car, go to Teeterboro airport so she can prepare a private jet for some rich people. Then she has to take the same chauffeured car back into the city and pick up a small framed print for Sharon. It looks grueling, and to boot I think it started to drizzle a little. There is a really cute segement where Kerri goes back to her totally normal and sweet family in Long Island. They eat food at home, she and her dad go to a bar to watch football where he expresses concern and support about her making ends meet. It’s really sweet and very normal. We are all meant to like Kerri.

sad auction

Bravo arranges for cameras to go to a Phillips de Pury auction (Simon de Pury drunk the Bravo punch a couple of years ago with Work of Art). All the girls (minus Liz) go to the auction. It’s really lame and boring not at all like an evening auction. Evening sales are packed, art world big wigs and celebrities come to see and be seen. MILLIONS of dollars worth of bids go flying through the air. It’s actually really electric. Alas the most excitement at this auction comes when Maggie makes her guy friend point out Claudia’s shirt is inside out. There are a lot of forced smiles and HIIIII’s exchanged. Then they all go out for  a drink. The divide between the Brooklynites and the Manhattanites is palpable. Amy orders a ‘sweet syrupy cocktail’ which Angela informs us is so out of fashion. Maggie is just happy they aren’t in Brooklyn, did you know that ‘that they all live in warehouses or something down there?’ Amy, the lush, wants to go to Dorian’s, an Upper East Side establishment that only prep-school girls and creepy serial killers go to (the Preppie Killer please). True story.

flinging fettuccine

There is a not very exciting scene where the End of the World girls go out for drinks in Williamsburg (let it be noted that there is absolutely no distinguishable difference between snotty Brooklyn girls getting drinks and snotty Manhattan girls getting drinks). Angela is wearing her gorilla, on the prowl for some MAN MEAT. Then some loser guys, attracted by the sparkly lighst of reality TV cameramen, wander over. One dude sticks his finger in the girls’ macaroni and cheese (that sounds so much better than it was) and tries to get in on Angela’s Asian action. She says she feels like she’s getting raped. The guys leave when they realize that these reality TV girls are not suitably wastey faced, but not without first fisting the mac and cheese. Angela squeals, bitches ain’t getting ‘béchamel sauce on my clothes’ and throws a few noodles at the guys retreating backs. It’s actually a total non-event. Later Angela goes out with her gay friends wearing a tutu and laments that she has such trouble finding men. TAKE THE TUTU AND THE GORILLA COAT OFF. She was obviously way too influenced by Carrie Bradshaw. Whatever, apparently Angela has a depressed vagina.

stay tuned for next week:

Will Eli ad Maggie have slimy no eye contact sex?

Will Amy get drunk?

Will Chantal learn to stand up straight?

3 responses

  1. I love your commentary on the show! I’m fascinated by each cast member, and not afraid to admit that the show allows me to live vicariously through them. I look forward to reading more of your thoughts.

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