‘Views from W 35th’s supplemental Gallery Girls post for Views from W 4th’
Let me start by saying that somebody needs to yank this show off the air and give Liz’s aesthetician from last night’s episode her own show in its place. The woman almost makes me want to get a wax, almost. Definitely makes me want to watch her giving them.
That aside, I realized that if I take the time to form coherent sentences that I am proud of to describe my reactions to this stupid show I will forever regret the time wasted, so instead here are some observational fragments about this clearly manipulated for TV ‘reality’ mess.
please God somebody kill off Chantal, this is the most annoying gallery girl
painful watching Claudia try to get Chantal on board to do some work down at Art Basel, Chantal’s arguments are as deflective and nonsensical as Dina Lohan’s interview with ‘Dr.’ Phil today. And Chantal made me want to punch her in the face as much as Dr. Phil was inciting an overwhelming urge within myself to find him and curb stomp him (don’t worry Phil, I’m a pacifist. I believe firmly in keeping our hands to ourselves, you’re just such an ego-maniacal hypocrite and you know it)
I love hate watching Chantal cry over the suggestion that they do anything to try to advance their business goals down in Miami besides eat at Michelin star restaurants on funds not coming from their gallery which has never sold shit but some bracelets while Claudia’s parents are bank rolling the whole gallery as a kind of babysitter or Marie Antoinette peasant’s farm circa 2012 East Village for their adult daughter and her obnoxious friends to play in.
I would have felt even better spending this amount of time thinking about that stupid clip if it weren’t so obviously set up, the dead give away - that the scene opens with Chantal talking about researching the Michelin restaurants, even for reality TV a touch of subtlety can go a long way, but somebody at Bravo forgot to mention that to the producers of this mess
Angela is actually starting to grow on me, as is Claudia, but only because they are shown interacting with Chantal so often which makes anyone else’s personality seem winning by default
speaking of Angela, and of subtlety for that matter, the self promotion is getting to be a bit much, we get it, you take awful pictures, I missed that episode and I still get it, and jumping all over that pop up before Claudia even gave the go ahead that she wanted to do it. Reeks of desperation and made me very sad / schadenfreude gloat that I’m not THAT bad myself / maybe secretly jealous but with sprinkles of indifference and pure spite
also, speaking of earlier said pop up, in Chantal’s defense (I know, let’s already try to forget that I had to just say that) Claudia’s idea to do a pop up last minute in Miami doesn’t make any sense to anyone who does or doesn’t know anything at all about Art Basel, like myself.
Poorly misguided, desperate, innocent, pleading, needy Amy (who, did anyone else smell the blood in the water tonight? I think she might have been unceremoniously pre ejected from this train wreck before it’s even leaving the station. If so, lucky for her, let’s wait and see) The pop up still wouldn’t be a venue that had anything to do with Art Basel and in all likelihood wouldn’t be anywhere near Art Basel. The whole pop up debate was a for TV only argument on both sides, I strongly suspect.
Amy, poor Amy, watching her trying to talk to Kerri on ‘super speed I hold no grudge, see I’m a nice girl, I’m interesting, look at me, I’m normal, we’re cool right? ‘ mode was painful and joyous voyeurism. Also her voice, and her look and that puppy dog thing …
Maggie, whose looks annoy me for some reason I can’t put my finger on, but nevertheless is pretty enough (I’m sure W4th probably disagrees with me on this pretty enough point), impressed me in tonight’s episode by standing behind Liz at a party and looking very short. I really didn’t realize that she was THAT small, you go girl!
Liz with the daddy issues, also sad, airing her emotionally neglected adult child baggage on TV to get back at her dad is pretty sad for all involved. Somebody give that girl a hug and tell her that maybe some day things are going to be okay.
and last but least of these gallery tricks (unfortunately because she seems to be the most genuine and grounded of the bunch, but what do I know, most genuine on reality TV probably translates to most fake and manipulative in real life ) is Kerri, and I say the least because when it comes to reality TV there really is no place for genuine or grounded let alone both. At the end of the day, Chantal and her systematic dismantling of the hope of a theoretical future good reputation that she could only dream of is the bloodier, higher casualties carrying, and thus more fascinating, flaming, imminently exploding train-wreck cargo car of them all on this giant catastrophe of a show.
Last things last, despite everything that I’ve just said/written, in all honestly I really don’t like to judge people and I try not to, (also, another aside, if you don’t want to be judged for sport, don’t clamor all over yourself to make your life into a reality TV show, it comes with the pedestal, and I will gladly accept any thank you offerings that any of you, yes that’s YOU Chantal, Amy, Angela, Claudia, Kerri, Liz or Maggie Mouse want to bestow upon me in gratitude for even acknowledging any of your reality trick existences online in any way at all) but further more I honestly feel that every human being is truly beyond judgement in actuality because no matter what I or anyone else says, we are each a unique gift that adds to the fabric of this world through all of our attributes, good as well as bad, no matter how much someone else does or doesn’t understand us, does or doesn’t try to, or truly doesn’t think there is a single redeeming quality about us, so, that being said, it is very difficult for me to say that I do not think that Kerri’s (and Amy’s former) boss’s rainbow dress worked, BUT also maybe it did. The jury is still out for me (always is) because part of me believes that there is no such thing as a bad painting or a bad outfit, but if there actually is such a thing as either, this dress might be it, or even both.
until next time, W 4th’s friend who has nothing substantive to say about this show (can anything substantive be said by anyone about this show? I mean, come on) but managed to write way too much about it anyway, AKA views from west 35th