Sorry for the super late recap on this. I started to find it difficult to regurgitate all the inane silliness of this show but now I’m over it and I’m back on to LOVING this show.

The important narrative points to take away from this episode were: Angela is going to have her big ‘IT GIRL’ party/photography exhibition. Maggie goes home to Pennsylvania where she quietly drowns her sorrows in white wine. She shows some semblance of a spine and goes on some very staged job interviews. Amy throws a dinner party that only Maggie, Kerri and Angela come to. She also puts her foot in it so many ways and times it’s just sad. The EOC girls enlist the services of SUCKLORD. Kerri NEEDS chocolate and Liz doesn’t appear, except to say that she isn’t going to Amy’s dinner party.

“My biggest fear is that my friends will make fun of my show.” -Angela
Well, sweetie, they don’t sound like very nice friends.

So Angela is continuing to flagrantly self promote by hosting a party/exhibit of her photography. In reality it’s just a bad bad student show. She describes her work as exploring solitude and moroseness with pop and a lot of color, which may I point out is completely contradicting, but that’s cool, whatever Angela. She says her photos are about ‘characters that are very lonely,’ is this a glimpse into the sad lonely sole of Angela Pham? I am unsure if the point of this endeavor is ‘look at me!’ or ‘look at my art!’, actually I lie, I am 110% sure that the point of anything Angela does is ‘look at me!’  ’I want to be an it girl and some people might call me a fame whore’ says Angela with such pride. In the process of organizing her ‘event’ Angela complains that one stress is always replaced be a new stress…Yes Angela, that’s called life, get with the program please. And please getting changed in front of the cameraman, showing your boobs isn’t going to solve any of your problems, I promise (has anyone else noticed that Angela manages every episode to flash her titties at the camera in a very weak attempt to look blasé? Cause I have). Angela’s ‘event’ is called ’Totally not Depressed,’ A few reasons why Angela has every right to be depressed; 1. She has bitchy friends who she thinks would make fun of her should she fail. 2. Eli Klein legitimizes her ‘event’ with his presence. 3. One random guy’s supposed approval of one of her photographs justifies the entire endeavor. Oh and BTW, my boyfriend pointed out that Everclear should have been the liquor served at Angela’s ‘event.’ It is more economic and would give Angela much more street cred than vodka. Amen.

‘Large expensive and gawdy, just like Amy’ – Angela.

Poor Amy. Poor poor Amy. I genuinely feel for this girl. She is so bubbly and up-beat, seemingly very confident and happy but underneath it all I think she is a wreck. Terribly insecure and frightened. She wants to have everyone’s approval and acceptance but doesn’t get that the saccharine sweet incessant twittering of compliments and constant good cheer is mind numbing and SO TRANSPARENT. Of course Liz, miss cool as a cucumber with a biting tongue hates you. Amy decides to host a smokey mess dinner party, at her parents’ apartment along with her 12 year old brother. No one comes in time for food, god did they dodge a bullet on that one. Maggie and Kerri show some team support and come to Amy’s soiree. Kerri scoffs at the decor and Maggie wisely comments that ’it is her parent’s apartment so maybe she can’t make it her own.’ Angela shows up,  ’it wouldn’t hurt to have friends with money who can actually buy my art.’ Clever girl! The EOC bitches could learn a thing or two from you. Amy, who will take anyone’s scraps, is flattered that Maggie, Angela and Kerri came ‘because it means they support my career’…I’m not sure of the logic in that. Amy, it means that Bravo needed you guys all to be in the same room and forced them to come, oh and Angela wants your money.

Amy can’t get anything right this episode (the Magical Elves are really setting her up as the loser of the group). She comes 30 minutes late to a meeting with Sharon Hurowitz (‘my interns are late and not in an endearing way’ ) and some print library curator. Ugh Amy, a nugget of advice, from one prissy blonde to another, when you are going to be late to a professional meeting DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT show up with your hair perfectly coiffed and your Birkin bag on display complaining about commutes in taxis! For the love of God. Your hair serves as an indicator of the time you wasted preening rather than hauling ass to the meeting. Pony tail that shit. The Birkin, starting price $10,000, shows that you are just some rich bitch who doesn’t need this ‘job.’ And come on, you can always blame tardiness on delayed subways. Don’t even mention taxis, EVER.

Bravo cross promotion, SUCKLORD at EOC

Over at End of their World gallery Chantal and Claudia court SUCKLORD (Already a member of the Bravo family, Sucklord is from Work of Art. Kudos to Bravo for looking after their own. It’s like the mafia, family is family, and they always look after their own.) for a show. Neither Claudia or Chantal seem very enthusiastic about him which makes it a bit weird that they are working with him…don’t they call the shots at their own lifestyle boutique gallery fashion store, or is Bravo actually pulling some strings? Anywho, Claudia claims Sucklord is more commercial, which doesn’t make any sort of sense. He seems to just produce weird action figures that are more likely to poison your child than provide any sort of artist merit. Claudia actually is pretty funny with him, she just spews sarcasm and dismissive malice all over his face, ‘jewelry and women’s fashion and art so…. chic-flick stuff. Yeah. We listen to Joni Mitchell all day and then cry.’ Claudia dismisses Sucklord as a douche bag, I think that douche NOZZLE (my dad taught me that phrase a few weeks ago, LOVES IT)  would be a more apt description. So between Claudia, Chantal’s eyebrows and Sucklord they come up with a plan to make toilet paper, tampons and an occupywall street – like performance. GENIUS, and commercial! They have an opening/performance/theater kids geekfest at EOC and drink cheap red wine and everyone seems happy, but only after Chantal’s eyebrows ask everyone to yell in their inside voices. I think Chantal and Claudia manage to sell some of Sucklord’s tampons and toilet paper and so the night is a raging success.

Maggie and the brah head home

So this was a big episode for Maggie. She packs up her Prada flats and her beefcake boyfriend’s Wayfarers and head to her mother’s house in Pennsylvania. But don’t worry she called ahead to request that her mother keeps the proseco flowing and the green bean casserole plentiful. There really isn’t much to say about Maggie’s trip home. Her mom seems sweet and her step-dad nice. I will note that Maggie keeps an IV of white wine tapped into her vein the entire visit. Her parents try to discuss her life with her and she just clams up and keeps her eyes glued to the floor, or her wine glass or some distant spot in the corner of the room, anywhere but anyone’s face. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS GIRL! Will eye contact immediately sear your retinas? Will you spontaneously combust if you speak directly to someone? No wonder this girl is still an intern. She is the mousiest quietest little thing I have ever seen. It is so painful to me. Anyway Maggie does manage to squeak out that she thinks her future is in NYC and not on her mother’s sofa, even if she can’t get a job. After her weekend at home Maggie picks herself up and goes to 2 job interviews at other galleries. These interview segments serve as a great tutorial in how NOT to interview, of course. Maggie mumbles her way through the interviews. Again avoiding eye contact and generally coming off as a spineless little girl. When asked what she has learned during her 3 year internship at Eli Klein Fine Art she fails to come up with a single response, not one! Not even ‘sleeping with the boss will ensure you the role of gallery bitch for at least 2 years.’

Kerri isn’t so salt of the earth after all…someone knows how to drive the knife in.

And in conclusion of the episode Kerri and Amy meet up for a coffee. Kerri is hardcore PMS’ing and repeats about 400 times that she wants chocolate. Please that girl is too skinny too ever eat chocolate. Truth. Amy ‘takes some initiative’ and ‘delegates’ work to Kerri by throwing note cards at her with a  list of menial tasks for her to complete so Amy can head to Dorian’s a bit earlier.  Kerri, who has been taking notes from all of those catty teenage girl TV shows immediately runs to Sharon Hurowitz and rats out Amy’s delegation of tasks. Sharon is not impressed, ’this is why I’m glad I’m not 20 anymore.’  And that wraps it up.